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I think I am becoming an historian
Jan. 31st, 2025 04:59 pmAbout ten months ago now I wrote a post about wanting to become an historian. It was not... I mean.. well, if I am gonna talk in past tense like that, the news is evident isn't it, so let me lead with that: I've been accepted to a programme! Specifically, I'll be doing a PhD in Late Modern history at the University of Istanbul. Next week, I'll register at the institution definitively. It's exciting, and after so much mess and drama throughout the last year and a half of my life, which I won't bother to summarise beyond the phrase «end of graduate school shenanigans», the news is very calming. Knock on wood!
It was, to go back to the past tense, a challenge. It's not easy to switch disciplines, it's a rewarding but difficult challenge at the best of times, but I had to try doing it in amongst tumult, amidst anxiety, stress, and pressure. Not for the fun of it, but I hadn't a choice for it to happen otherwise. The usual stressor of military duty was there, and it gave me no chance to take a year or two off, which I would've preferred, most likely, and which would also give me a chance to prepare well. But it was impossible. I was way too busy to rest after my graduation from my master's last June, and when that lightened up, the deferment period of my military duty was dangerously close. It ran out in June 2025, and while it was possible that registering after that was theoretically possible due to how the system works, it was also uncertain. It would've made for a very tense summer.
So I had little time to prepare, and little choice on when to apply. I had to try my luck for Spring 2025 intake, so I did. Since roughly November 2024 I've been preparing for these applications. I was initially planning a variety of things to work on once I got into a program, and thus to mention in the interview beforehand. I was interested in some aspects of middle ages, I was interested in travel and cities, I was also rediscovering my leanings. I was also interested in Late Modern, especially in emigration towards cities was catching my attention. All stuff I'd always been interested in, but had kinda casted away because of linguistics. Interests wasn't all the work of course, not even most of the work, I was mostly finding information about where to apply, when to apply, how to apply, what documents to find, what exams to do, what loose ends to tie. In the mean time I was also trying to do some basic readings in history, and also looking for work at universities. Besides planning and scheduling for the exams and applications, I was failing miserably at all of these. I was sure that I wouldn't have progressed enough in my readings to apply confidently (which did end up being the case) and that I had no chance of beginning to develop a project for my PhD to talk about my SoPs and interviews. That last one I was worried about, because I thought, probably correctly, that it was a big big factor, and it might've changed the outcomes of my applications back in Summer 2024, had I had a concrete project that had legs to stand on.
About a month ago, I struck gold. I had been trying to find keywords to be able to talk about my research interests. I had it all written on a whiteboard: Late Modern, housing, mobility (travel & migration), identity, public space. They all had some ground in some part of my life and some part of my research and learning endeavours. I was weighing which I cared more or less about, and I was thinking about what these meant for me. Then I had this thought: exiles! Exile! Exile connected all these things, and more! I could study exiles! So I began developing a project (which I won't detail yet, but perhaps talk about it later when it begins to crystallise properly). It was pretty «undercooked» when I presented it a few days ago at the two universities I presented it at, but I had done a key thing: in the meantime, I had discovered that indeed, quite firmly, the project had legs to stand on. There was prior literature, there was prior research, and there was a lot of people that could be looked into.
By then, I had also moved on from my infatuation with the Middle Ages. I was really intrigued by the idea of being a medievalist and studying travel in the Middle Ages. But after a few months of that, I applied a valued advice about figuring out what to do for research: think of the practical aspect, think of, beyond the infatuation, what skills you have, and what true interests, not infatuations, you have, that can sustainably drive you throughout your research. So I thought long and hard in order to be able to separate ephemeral infatuation from persistent interest. 19th and 20th centuries are where my interests lied, where they had been years ago and had kept coming back to. The topics I listed above, they were persistent across the switches between disciplines and along the passage of years.
So, in the two interviews I had, I presented a coherent project, and a coherent argument for my interest in the said project as well as in the Late Modern, and for the claim that my academic adventure so far does indeed lead me there, to those very interviews, that it makes sense, that I am ready, at least mentally, to undertake this challenge and this endeavour. In one of the departments, these things were met by a critical indifference, whereas, in the other one, my enthusiasm was met by enthusiasm, and my sincerity was rewarded with warmth. Unsurprisingly, the latter department admitted me to their doctoral programme. Next week, I am to register formally. By the end of this month, the year of lectures begins.
The tumult and hardships of the time since the onset of the pandemic have instilled some rather unwelcome but involuntary superstition in me, so I knock on wood to not jinx things.
It was, to go back to the past tense, a challenge. It's not easy to switch disciplines, it's a rewarding but difficult challenge at the best of times, but I had to try doing it in amongst tumult, amidst anxiety, stress, and pressure. Not for the fun of it, but I hadn't a choice for it to happen otherwise. The usual stressor of military duty was there, and it gave me no chance to take a year or two off, which I would've preferred, most likely, and which would also give me a chance to prepare well. But it was impossible. I was way too busy to rest after my graduation from my master's last June, and when that lightened up, the deferment period of my military duty was dangerously close. It ran out in June 2025, and while it was possible that registering after that was theoretically possible due to how the system works, it was also uncertain. It would've made for a very tense summer.
So I had little time to prepare, and little choice on when to apply. I had to try my luck for Spring 2025 intake, so I did. Since roughly November 2024 I've been preparing for these applications. I was initially planning a variety of things to work on once I got into a program, and thus to mention in the interview beforehand. I was interested in some aspects of middle ages, I was interested in travel and cities, I was also rediscovering my leanings. I was also interested in Late Modern, especially in emigration towards cities was catching my attention. All stuff I'd always been interested in, but had kinda casted away because of linguistics. Interests wasn't all the work of course, not even most of the work, I was mostly finding information about where to apply, when to apply, how to apply, what documents to find, what exams to do, what loose ends to tie. In the mean time I was also trying to do some basic readings in history, and also looking for work at universities. Besides planning and scheduling for the exams and applications, I was failing miserably at all of these. I was sure that I wouldn't have progressed enough in my readings to apply confidently (which did end up being the case) and that I had no chance of beginning to develop a project for my PhD to talk about my SoPs and interviews. That last one I was worried about, because I thought, probably correctly, that it was a big big factor, and it might've changed the outcomes of my applications back in Summer 2024, had I had a concrete project that had legs to stand on.
About a month ago, I struck gold. I had been trying to find keywords to be able to talk about my research interests. I had it all written on a whiteboard: Late Modern, housing, mobility (travel & migration), identity, public space. They all had some ground in some part of my life and some part of my research and learning endeavours. I was weighing which I cared more or less about, and I was thinking about what these meant for me. Then I had this thought: exiles! Exile! Exile connected all these things, and more! I could study exiles! So I began developing a project (which I won't detail yet, but perhaps talk about it later when it begins to crystallise properly). It was pretty «undercooked» when I presented it a few days ago at the two universities I presented it at, but I had done a key thing: in the meantime, I had discovered that indeed, quite firmly, the project had legs to stand on. There was prior literature, there was prior research, and there was a lot of people that could be looked into.
By then, I had also moved on from my infatuation with the Middle Ages. I was really intrigued by the idea of being a medievalist and studying travel in the Middle Ages. But after a few months of that, I applied a valued advice about figuring out what to do for research: think of the practical aspect, think of, beyond the infatuation, what skills you have, and what true interests, not infatuations, you have, that can sustainably drive you throughout your research. So I thought long and hard in order to be able to separate ephemeral infatuation from persistent interest. 19th and 20th centuries are where my interests lied, where they had been years ago and had kept coming back to. The topics I listed above, they were persistent across the switches between disciplines and along the passage of years.
So, in the two interviews I had, I presented a coherent project, and a coherent argument for my interest in the said project as well as in the Late Modern, and for the claim that my academic adventure so far does indeed lead me there, to those very interviews, that it makes sense, that I am ready, at least mentally, to undertake this challenge and this endeavour. In one of the departments, these things were met by a critical indifference, whereas, in the other one, my enthusiasm was met by enthusiasm, and my sincerity was rewarded with warmth. Unsurprisingly, the latter department admitted me to their doctoral programme. Next week, I am to register formally. By the end of this month, the year of lectures begins.
The tumult and hardships of the time since the onset of the pandemic have instilled some rather unwelcome but involuntary superstition in me, so I knock on wood to not jinx things.
